Tuesday, January 29, 2008
















LOOK!! It's Kari Po on the left!


(left) Mr. Jaya the Indian
(right) English babbling couple

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Our bio teacher is an Indian man. We don't know what is his name, so we called him Murugan (a Hindu god). Now don't look down on him. He is a JPA scholar and got PhD in the study of encephalon. But why in the hell does he come and teach in our school? He can become a doctor!! So we asked him and he replied lamely.

"Because my brothers are doctors, sisters also, cousin, whole family also doctors. And they keep talking and talking about medicine, so I got fed up and become a teacher." (duh~)

But why our school? Obviously, he likes to teach Peng Hwa. (nyah nyah nyah!)

Now the problem is, he's overqualified to teach us. He teaches us lots of things which are not included in the syllabus and many new terms, like Leischman's solution, 250 million HB in RBC, artificial phasemaker, tonsil, spleen, systole, diastole, hepar, mesenteric, jugular, and lots and lots and lots... Anyway we love to listen to him because everytime when he is explaining something he seems very exicted with many hand and face gestures.

He even let us dissect the chicken heart. (whoo!) Every group has one DEAD chicken heart each. (it's so small.. why not human heart?!?) At first, nobody dared to touch it and some girls kept screaming their heads off because they had never seen this thing before. So he let us wear gloves but there isn't any left for our group. Actually, it's just Man Lin, Shin Fang and Shu Hua only. The traitor Vi Cher doesn't want to be in the same group with us because she thinks we are stupid at everything. (hmph!)

Murugan asked us to cut the heart into half with a pen knife because he wanted to let us see the sturcture of the heart. We did exactly what he told but our heart was different from everyone else's. The others were nicely sliced into half but ours.... seperti telah dicincang!! Our heart were chopped into many pieces like the meat in the market. HAHAHAA!!! Semua ini ialah kerja Shu Hua. She even used her BARE hand to pick up the pieces of heart and chased Vi Cher and the others around the lab.

Then when everyone has finished, Shin Fang and Shu Hua took other group's hearts to chop and they seemed to enjoy about it. (great potential to be butchers) Then they added the iodine solution and made a great discovery!!! The chicken blood dissolved when iodine is added. WOW!! They also added Dettol and dish washer and everything became bubbly. (Hahaah!!) Not only this, one time they purposely go and smell sulphur dioxide gas.

*past*
Shin Fang took the test tube and smelled the sulphur dioxide gas inside. She kept her face straight and asked Shu Hua to smell.

"Shu Hua, come and smell this."
"Why?" (became suspicious)

"Nothing la... Just smelly."

"Okay."

When Shu Hua smelled it, she nearly dropped the test tube because not only it's smelly, it's HORRIBLE!!!! It was like when we smell onion, it makes you cry. And it was very uncomfortable because there was like something inside our lungs and we had breathing difficulty. But it was fine after that.

Vi Cher: "WEi!! You all go and smell the gas ah?"
Shin Fang and Shu Hua: "Yes."

Vi Cher:" OH MY GOD!! Do you all know sulphur dioxide is poisonous?!?"

"......." (they turned and looked at each other)

Shu Hua:" Shin Fang, I think we're going to die."

Shin Fang:" I see... I gotta go and write down my will." (LOL!!)

Now, that was two weeks ago and besides becoming butchers, they also have REAL GREAT potential to become scientists.
Murugan let us see the human anatomy book. Actually he wanted to show us the photos of the human heart. But mischievous struck us. We found the pages where there are photographs of b****t (female's chest) and v****a (female's crotch). We purposely asked him what is this what is that, like ---

Shin Fang:" Teacher, where does breast milk come from?"

Shu Hua:" Teacher, what is this?" (pointing at the photo of nipple)

Vi Cher:" Teacher, why there is hair everywhere?"

And much to our surprise, he explained one by one to us. Then, we turned to the photos of p***s (male's crotch) and asked, ---

" TEACHER, WHAT IS THIS? WHY SO GELI WAN???" (HAHAHAHAH!!)

This time, Murugan became embarrassed and immediately closed the book. So cute!

By the way, he promised us that after chinese new year, he's going to dissect the frog and show us. COOL!!








Monday, January 21, 2008

Mensa Puzzler's Challenge

We went for the Mensa competition at the Dewan Masyarakat Penyayang. It consisted of 12 groups and seven groups were from our school. (hia hia hia!!)

The man-in-charge is an Indian. His name is very stupid and hilarious --- Mr. Jayaram Menom. We kept calling his name in funny voices, from mickey mouse to donald duck, but he didn't hear us. (hahaha!)

Shin Fang and Man Lin were in Team 3, while Vi Cher and Shu Hua in Team 5. We knew we were in for a grueling competition when we knew who our oppenents were. The teams who were not from our school were all adults that looked very intelligent. One of the teams kept babbling English at each other and were very complacent with themselves. To Shin Fang and Man Lin's luck, they were placed beside them. So Man Lin abd Shin Fang (cinkak!) discussed which is the best method to 作弊 and the English babbling couple were staring at them suspiciously.

Now, Vi Cher and Shu Hua were placed beside Kari Po and her daughter. (will tell you later how did she get that stupid nickname) When the challenge started, Vi Cher found out that the Kari Po kept sweeping her eyes over our answers. Oi! Kari Po ah... lao ee already still want to 偷看!!!

One of the challenge is Clock Maze. The time extention is one hour but Vi Cher and Shu Hua finished it in eight minutes. Woohoo! Clap hands!! Another one is Half Full. They gave you a queer shaped container filled with water and asked you to answer whether it's more than half full, half full or less than half full. Stupid la... Like this also can ask...They also asked you to fold a long piece of paper into a cube without tearing it, stacked the books so that they hanged over as far as they can without tumbling down, bla bla bla, BUT --- NO SUDOKU!! (AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!) Before that, the teacher told us that there will be a Sudoku question, so we practised and practised for the whole week. What la... Now not even one Sudoku question appeared!

When Vi Cher and Shu Hua had completed all the challenges, they decided not to wait for Shin Fang and Man Lin and went to explore the whole building.

*change*

First, we went to the public toilet. Oh my God! When we stepped inside, we had to pinch our noses and fold our jeans up to our knees because it was very very very --- GELI!!! One of the cubicles was very NICE when we got inside because there were cockroaches inside the 马桶 SWIMMING!! HAHAHA!!!




Another toiletbowl was so broken looking and we decided to 'decorate' it, NOT vandalize because it was already spoilt before that. Every part came off including the toilet paper holder. We put all the parts at weird angles and tada! Our masterpiece of toiletbowl! (will upload the photos next time)

Luckily nobody saw what we were doing. And when Kari Po came in and saw our masterpiece, she shouted, ---

"AIYO!!! Why the 马桶 like this ?!?" (trying to hide our evil smiles)

Then, we went to the cafeteria to have our free lunch. To tell the truth, the buffet lunch really surprised us. It was very delicious and tasty. Vi Cher ate first because she had to leave early and Shu Hua drank a glass of liquid which looked like water. YUCK!!! It IS water but they added sugar inside and it tasted like shit! The SUGAR SOLUTION nearly make me lost my appetite.

At last, Shin Fang and Man Lin completed the competition but it's time for Vi Cher to go back. We went back to the cafeteria to have our lunch. Shin Fang and Shu Hua took a big plate of curry rice (our favourite since our EST lesson!) and two huge pieces of chicken meat each, but Man Lin, probably on diet, took a small clump of curry rice and a tiny piece of chicken.

At first, everything was normal. We talked while eating, then something struck us funny and Shu Hua --- (holy shit!) --- opened her mouth and laughed like a mad witch. To make things worse, she hadn't finished swallowing her food and the whole clump of 'shit' was still inside her mouth, baring in view for everyone to see. Luckily, there was no one else inside there and Man Lin announced she had no more appetite after looking at Shu Hua's shit. The three of us started to become crazy. We mixed our curry rice with ice cream, we spilled our curry and melted ice cream all over the place, then the Kari Po came in.

We didn't look at what she was doing because we were enjoying in our curry and ice cream world. Then something made us turned TOGETHER to look at what she was doing. (oh my! oh my!) She was pouring all the curry into plastic bags because she wanted to take it home and eat!!! It's that type of plastic bags you used in market. Yer... So dirty!! And if you eat hot food inside plastic bags, you can get CANCER!! Common knowledge also don't know! By the way, the sight was very funny and we tried to stiffle our laughter when she looked bemusingly at us. So, that's how she got her infamous nickname, --- KARI PO!!! (LOL!)

Then, the most gross part came. The meat was very hard and difficult to chew. And Shin Fang had been chewing the meat for a very long time but couldn't swallow so she spat it out.

Shu Hua: " HEY!! That's fun! I also want to play!"

She put a big spoon of curry rice inside her mouth and chew and chew and chew.............

"PHHHOOOOOOOOOIIIII!!!!!" (AHAHAHAA!!)

She spat it out on the table! You could see a clump of bolus a.k.a. a ball of chewed food bound together with SALIVA from the mouth. YUCK!!

Later, we went back and Jaya the Indian expained the answers of the challenges and finally the results were to be announced. Every contestants, even in the last place also get prizes. What are the prizes that seemed to be attracting us so much? --- GIANT SUPERMARKET VOUCHERS!! Ahahaha! Actually we went there to get certificates because this competition is a national level. YES!! What a good testimonial we will get!

Vi Cher and Shu Hua got second runner-up in the student category and fifth in overall. (applause, please. clap clap clap!) Shin Fang and Man Lin also did quite well and got the 11th place. (psst! actually there were only 12 groups! haha!)

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In school, we noticed that Shin Fang just couldn't walk straight and always walked in a crooked way. Our school corridor is quite wide and whenever we walked beside her, we found that we always walked right into the wall BECAUSE Shin Fang was pushing us as she walks. Ironically, she doesn't even know she was doing that! So we mimicked her way of walking with our heads crooked on our shoulder, arms in a stiff position, legs that couldn't walk properly like orang cacat, tongue lolling out, and saliva dripping to the ground. This is how Shin Fang walks ---






(Next time, if i just couldn't describe something, i'll draw it out. it's easier and understandable!)

By the way, Shin Fang's NEN NEN essay got an A and was praised by the teacher. The teacher still added that her creativity and elaboration is VERY GOOD! WOW!! She still asked us to copy her essay as a model essay! My God!! (HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! AHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Vi Cher back from Japan

Vi Cher went to Japan for student exchange programme, and she brought some souveniers back for us. She gave Hui Ern a Hello Kitty chain (haha! as if hui ern is still a kid and hasn't grown out of the stupid white cat yet), and she gave us some bookmarks.

It's not those normal bookmarks though. When we saw them, we laughed, really LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Look at the pictures below, and you will know why we laughed.



The left one is a female while the right one is a male.
They look the same to me anyway. LOL!
So these are what Vi Cher thought as 'cute' bookmarks. They are some flat paper dolls without arms and legs, and with their hair covering their face. Actually, they don't even have any face. And they look like those JAPANESE GHOSTS! Then, Shin Fang said somehting really stupid.

"Ei, want or not? We take off their clothes and see what is inside." (HAHAHAHA!!)

She thought the paper dolls are like those Barbie dolls who have NEN NEN and POP POP under their clothes. We looked inside anyway, but to our disappointment, there's just a toothpick inside. Later, we played a live doll performance.

Actor: Shu Hua's doll as Man Lin

Actress: Shin Fang's doll as Ah Phoo

Voice: Priest by Vi Cher
Man Lin by Shu Hua
Ah Phoo by Shin Fang

*music plays* (the famous teng teng teng wedding song)

Priest: Man Lin, are you willing to be Ah Phoo's husband?
Man Lin: I do!
Priest: Ah Phoo, are you willing to be Man Lin's wife?
Ah Phoo: I do!
Priest: I now pronounce you as husband and wife.
Man Lin & Ah Phoo: YAY!!

"Okay, kiss!"
"脱衣服!"
"上床!"
"做爱!"
Man Lin was looking helplessly at us as we play the dolls. Anyway, there is a crowd watching at our performance but they do not clap. No appreciation at all! (hmph!)

Anyway, Vi Cher told us that she bought us some expensive chocolates (drooling!) but dare not take it to school, because chocolates is a no-no in our school. If like this, then why did she buy at the first place?!? *toink toink*

By the way, Shin Fang wrote a 'ham sap' 作文 in school.

我终于成功了

小时候, 爸爸整天摸我的 NEN NEN. 白天摸, 晚上又摸, 一天到晚 24 个小时都在摸我的 NEN NEN. 俗语说, 只要有恒心, NEN NEN 磨成针. 爸爸那粗得像砂纸一样的手, 终于把我的 NEN NEN磨成尖尖的针, 尖到可以 TUK 死人.

有一个晚上, 我正要过马路. 突然有一辆车向我冲来, 我吓得动弹不得. 这时, 爸爸一把推开我, 救了我一命, 但他却死了. 临死前, 他对我说, 他这样做是为了救我的 NEN NEN 因为我的 NEN NEN 很美.

因此, 我去参加了 NEN NEN 比赛. 那天, 我穿了一套露 NEN NEN 的礼服, 把我的 NEN NEN 赤裸裸地让人看. 成绩揭晓时, 我的 NEN NEN 打翻了我的五味瓶.

司仪:" 让我们以热烈的掌声, 欢迎我们的 NEN NEN 之神 ---- 庄欣枋 !!"

YES!! 我终于成功了!

---The End---

(sigh! I really can't believe that shin fang is so ham sap!)

*Note: Vi Cher asked me not to write the event below in blog, but... sorry! This is a free country.* (snicker!)

Vi Cher's host brother in Japan is at the same age with us. She described him as a soft guy with a kind heart. He cares for everyone and he even knows how to cook! As one says, everyone (everything) is not perfect. Alas! Her host brother is not so good looking. (haha!) She still said she will like him if he is better looking. So this is what Vi Cher likes in a boy. *hint hint*

These are the photos of her nerdy host brother.





By the way, we can't deny that he's cute! (hahaha!) She also mentioned how her host brother cried when he lost his favourite trousers and underwear.

(please forgive my drawing!)






Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Want Or Don't Want

Our school suddenly WAKES up and realize that the EST subject is not important. It means the EST subject is compulsory and we can choose whether we want to take it in SPM or not.

With this sudden news, Man Lin chooses not to take. But we have to continue to go to EST class whether we want or not until we filled out the SPM subjects form, and we don't get it until March. (swt)

So today we have to stay back in the school just to attend the class. And we only have 20 minutes to eat our lunch! Mana cukup?!?! As a result, we just ate curry rice. Yum...sedapnya!! You take a plate of rice, then you lam the curry all over your rice. Finish! Simple but tasty, and CHEAP!!

When we saw our EST teacher, Shin Fang immediately found her answer. She is not taking EST too! Lol, why? Because our EST teacher is a discipline teacher. Lame excuse la...

At first, the class is sooo boring and Shin Fang, Shu Hua and Man Lin nearly sleep in the class. But Vi Cher sat with her back straight, pushed her hair behind her ears, and looked at the teacher without blinking her eyes. Of course she's acting because she is a prefect and want to make a good impression in front of teachers. As if we don't know, so fake!

Then she suddenly said, "Wei, I also don't want to take EST already la... So boring!" (haahahaa!!)
Shu Hua: Don't la! All of you don't want to take, want to leave me alone in this class ah?
Shin Fang: You also don't take la!
Man Lin: Yeah la! Rather go home and sleep better.
Shu Hua: Cannot... My dad want me to take this subject.
Vi Cher: Aiya! I say only... My dad also want me to take this subject.
Shin Fang: Siao wan you two! This subject very difficult to score one you know...

Anyway the teacher is not as strict as we thought so. She jokes around and laughs with us. Whoever who can siao with us, we will like you immediately! That's our rule of having friends. (joking!)

She asked us to pick a student to read something and we purposely picked our monitor. Then, she asked us to pick someone who can reads very fast and we picked CHA Yung Yiing. She asked Yung Yiing what is her chinese surname because her surname is rare.

Shin Fang: Teacher, it's chao!
Teacher: What?
Man Lin: Chao la!
Teacher: What chao?
Shu Hua: 炒 猓 条 的 炒!
Teacher: Hahahaahaa!! Why?
Vi Cher: Cha koay teow ma.. So it's 炒 lo! (LOL!! Pengsan!)

Then she wanted somebody who have a cute name and we picked our assistant monitor.

Teacher: Liu Sue Ching. Why you all said her name is cute?
Man Lin: Cause we call her tutu.
Vi Cher: Yeah! Tutu is so cute!
Teacher: How do you spell tutu?
Shin Fang: T-U-I-T-U-I.
Shu Hua: No la. T-U-T-U!
Teacher: Oh...Hahahaha!

When it's nearly time, we asked our teacher to let us out early. But she said she can't. So we thought she's scared that other teachers will complain about her. But she said no. We guessed again.

"Teacher, I know! You are scared of ONENE!!"
"Hahahaa! No!"

Then, her reply is so stupid.

"You know why I can't? Because if one of you lost one hair, just one hair, I will kena one."
"....." (everyone staring at her.)
"Yes. One hair only and I will die here. You all want me to die?"
"YES!!!" (the teacher fainted!)

Now, the question is, want or don't want to take EST in SPM?

Want because
  1. It's easy!
  2. You don't have to study for this subject
  3. You will have one more A compared to the others who do not take this subject
Don't want because
  1. The marking scheme is strict
  2. We have to stay back in school to attend EST class and it's easy to fall asleep at that time
  3. If you don't score, there will an ugly B in your result slip because if you scored all A's but one B, it's indeed ugly